I wrote this post last summer, and I’m not sure why I never published it except that maybe it got lost somewhere in the chaos of keeping three small children alive. One year later and I’m out of these trenches and sometimes doing yoga, and eternally grateful for the good people who make high rise skinny jeans that vow to “smooth” and “sculpt” and hide the fact that I’ve been binge-eating snack foods to make it through the end of this school year.
For any mommas who need to hear it ❤
I’ve spent the last three months wearing approximately the same five outfits. To qualify for a coveted spot in this rotation, features like “nursing friendly” and “mostly spandex” rate pretty high. Unfortunately, getting dressed in the morning also means staring down the other ninety percent of my closet that does not fit this bill.
This wasn’t a huge deal in the first few weeks of postpartum life, because everyone basically expects that you’re going to look like a borderline homeless person while you figure out how to care for a new human. Put on some makeup and real pants and you’re an overachiever.
But then it’s been two months. Three. And you have to go back to work soon which means that real pants are about to be an every day reality. The numbers on the scale at your six week appointment are less than encouraging, and the pressure to “get back to your pre-baby body” really starts to feel heavy.
But the fact of the matter is, I probably won’t ever get back to my pre-baby body. This body has carried and cared for three babies. Three beautiful, healthy, thriving babies. This body is stronger and more capable than I ever gave it credit for when I was pulling on size four skinny jeans.
My body has gone through incredible changes over the last nine months, so I’m going to cut it some slack for a while. This is not a season for size four skinny jeans. This is a season for eating what my body needs in order to feed another human being, and a season where I’m too exhausted to care about exercise and that’s okay. I know, I know- you can tell me all about the endorphins and the feeling of accomplishment and you’re not wrong. But I’m going to tell you that, at the moment, binge-watching Younger and carb-loading is just as life giving.
Eventually I’ll leave the newborn haze long enough to care about things like making time for pilates and maybe not eating entire bags of monster trail mix in a single sitting. In the meantime, l’ll be thankful that one piece swimsuits and high rise jeggings are a thing and spend a little more time loving on my babies and this body that carried them.
Mommas, you look amazing.